Labor of love

Mom-nesia = the blessed occurrence that has to happen before we are willing to go through the trials of pregnancy and labor all over again. Had it not, there would be many more single child households out there!
May I see a show of hands of how many women upon receiving stitches to their hoo-ha said I immediately want to do that again. Mmmm-kay. Now raise your hand if you were one of the c-section mommies that upon your first sneeze after your pain meds wore off, you were game to go again in 9 months. I see you flinching from the recollection of that feeling... ;) I've been through both and neither time did I raise my hand! Honestly, I kept my hands bound and taped to my sides until my rugrats slept through the night! :P
But yes, eventually my memory of pain, vomiting and stitches (both times) were chipped away and replaced with warm fuzzies. I look back now and think - that wasn't so bad. Just like the pregnant lady that has to endure 6 months of torturous morning sickness only to say that she now misses being pregnant. (that was not me by the way - I'm one of the weird ones that loved my growing belly...and growing bust line too)
Turns out that happens in other ways of life too.
Today marks 10 months of kidney function for my son. Ten months since his transplant from Marie. Ten months since everything we knew and were familiar with flew out the window! And now, it is starting to get a little hazy.
Don't get me wrong - I could still set up PD, I know the process for getting him on hemo and I still cringe thinking of dressing changes on Mondays. But the rawness is leaving. The hole in my heart is mending. The feeling of being overwhelmed isn't with me every day anymore. And if need be (though with God's grace it won't come to that) I could do this again. Talking about Matthew only there. ;)
We've done it before and we've survived it. We were all made better people because of it. And if an 8 month old can endure being strapped into a crib for three hours - then surely an 8 year old can...well...with the help of the Gamecube or PlayStation. Not that I have to worry about that at all since I just know this kidney has a 20 year life span with the way it's kept going through the hard knocks! :)
I'm so proud of my little fighter and everything he has gone through. With the best of smiles on his face :) Happy 10 months lovebug!

Wordless Wednesday

Don't leave the baby powder where they can reach it!

I am thankful

I am thankful that Matthew's surgery allowed him to be in patient for 10 days so we could learn about some potentially dangerous complications due to his high blood pressure. I knew high blood pressure over the long term was bad, but no one expected it to get so bad so quickly. Matthew's heart is damaged, but not irreversibly. With new meds, (and a new kidney, minus TWO crappy kidneys) Matthew's heart will be repair itself and be just fine. But they will monitor it now. If things go from bad to worse, we get listed...no more waiting. Without being in-patient -they would not have caught the fluid in his heart, in his lungs and the thickening of his ventricles. But we caught it...we caught it...it will be ok. I am thankful!



I am thankful we got a larger catheter...which makes for a smoother dialysis. With smoother dialysis...you get less alarms. Alarms cause the machine to stop...when the machines stop, the blood isn't getting clean. Matthew's blood is the cleanest it has been for a while! The day of surgery - his creatinine was 7.8, now it is 2.7. :) This mommy is thankful AND happy! And so is Matthew. :)



I am thankful that Matthew smiles the brightest smile for me when I need it. I took the hospitalization a lot harder than he did! Everyday to be told "you'll go home tomorrow", only to be re-told "well, one more night". To be given discharge papers THREE times and only for one of those to actually hold true! VERY frustrating. But that smile...made it worth it. Bad food, no sleep, 5am labs and REALLY having to relieve your bladder right as the doctor, intern and resident ALL walk in to do each of their separate spills. I'm thankful Matthew is so happy...he makes me happy.



I am thankful William is strong and healthy. I am thankful that I don't take his health for granted anymore...I just realize how blessed I am to be a mom to a "normal" extraordinary kid. He still surprises me with his intelligence and sense of humor. His athletic abilities are gaining too. Hmmm - dare we say track star? This boy rocks my world everyday. I'm thankful to be his mother...and that he tells me he misses me when I'm gone (even if it ends up making me cry afterwards).



I am thankful for unexpected detours that lead to wonderful family memories. I am thankful I can't plan it all, but can enjoy every second. I'm thankful for my family that God game me. For a supportive husband that lets me cry on his shoulder or come home from the hospital so I can spend some time with our other son. I'm thankful for my parents that came up to the hospital EVERY evening so that I was able to get a "break" to take a shower, take a nap, take a breath. I'm thankful for my "family" friends that lifted us up in prayer and my special "big sis" Robin that even drove down to visit us. Yeah, my family is kind of...wonderful and for that...I'm thankful.

Identity

I'm a wife, daughter, mother and friend. I was a teacher, student and a child before. When people on the street ask what I do, I reply I am a domestic engineer. Not only because it sounds "cooler" than I chase kids and dogs all day and consider myself ahead of the game if I manage a shower before 2pm, but I suffered through two semesters of college physics and did earn a bachelor of science degree afterall. ;)Domestic biologist just doesn't have the same ring you know? And besides the Georgia Tech fight song told me I was "a helluva engineer" - I just happen to agree.
How do I describe my boys in public? William - spirited (it's sounds nicer than unruly and wild), car fanatic, cuddle bug, and lover of nature (ok - mainly bugs, puppies and cats, but he really loves all nature including puddles). Matthew - drooler (as evident by the constant bib changes and chin wiping I do - gotta love molars right), strong, future MLB pitcher, and a snuggle worm. No mention of crappy kidneys?? Why not? It is a part of who he is!
Yes, it has shaped him into the person he is and the person he will become, but I already mentioned that when I listed strong. Matthew is not a diseased kidney, he has a diseased kidney...well two actually, but who's counting huh? Matthew is not on hemodialysis, he goes to hemodialysis...like someone else goes for a check up. His are just more frequent. My son does not have scars, he has battle wounds from a long and courageous fight - that he is WINNING! nanny-nanny-boo-boo. (never said I was a good sport!) He's my baby, and like his older brother, will remain my baby long after he brings his first baby home!
I thought I would share a few pictures that make up Matthew. Everyone who meets him knows how smiley, friendly and super easy going he is - but these will give you a look at his personality too, from my point of view.



He LOVES his brother. He will crawl to the opposite side of the house just to be near him. Climbing up in his lap and touching him, cuddling him. Luckily his big brother is easy going too and handles it with lots of smiles and a few sighs.




He's a ham, a charmer and I believe he would have Hollywood on speed dial if I didn't loathe the industry out there. He's got big blue eyes, a big goofy grin and a bigger heart than I could ever imagine on one so young. He's on the lookout for fun and funny. Mr laughs a lot is his nickname.




He's beautiful, all parts of him...natural and medical necessity. He's curious, an explorer. Matthew views obstacles as just another road to good times ahead. He's defies logic and is an outlier of statistics. He's my son and in my eyes he is perfect. Always will be - whether his kidneys work or not. :)

Oldest picture w/ Jamie

Ok, so here's the rules for this hop:
Go to the place where you upload all your photos. If you don’t upload them online, just go to wherever you store your pics on your computer. Open the oldest album, and post the first photo. Tell the story behind it. Grab the MckLinky and post it on your blog. Just for fun, tag 3 people you want to see old photos of :)



Well, I believe this is pretty self explanatory...Disney World, bad 80's clothing, brother and sister. Yes, that is my older brother David and me (when I was skinny). This was our first trip to Disney World in 1985. We had no idea that from then on...we would be hooked. We went almost every year after that with a "beach" break thrown in after three consecutive Disney trips. I'm lucky in that I married a man that also comes from a Disney family and he shares the good memories with me. We went there for our honeymoon at Christmas time and for our "he's off the cutter and on dry land" celebration in the Coast Guard. (That trip was a bit more expensive, since 9 months later William came along - just stay at the parks if it is raining people) ;)
Here's a pic from the honeymoon and another from our land station celebration just for good measure. :)
Thanks for letting me play along Jamie!




Disney World at our Christmas time honeymoon.



lunch at Primetime Cafe in MGM.

Wordless Wednesday

I don't know who originally came up with the idea, but I am borrowing the idea from the lovely Susie from Writer's Block. http://writersblock-susie.blogspot.com/2009/08/wordless-wednesday_19.html She's pretty cool. :)

No words needed - just a smile. :)

a day in the life

It's been a long time coming, but I'm finally getting to it. A day in the life of Matthew, photo journal style. Now some changes have been made since I took these pics a month ago - like no longer on procrit/epogen, he is on Aranesp that he gets once a week at diaylsis.) These include diaylsis and the common what we do when the g-tube has been pulled out too. If you have any questions about these pictures, please do not hesitate to ask. Whether you have a kidney baby, or know a kidney adult it would be a wonderful opportunity to share tricks of the trade. I will do this for my kidney donation steps too. Beware - you will see a jug of pee in the future (just not me actually peeing into it...I do have some privacy issues!). Also, you will never see pics of any of my children in situations that I am needed to hold their hand and soothe them. So no pictures of getting the actual shot of procrit, no pictures of the g-tube being pulled out or me shoving in a new replacement, and no pictures of bandage change. Trust me, those times are deeply burned into my memory and I have NO need for Matthew to ever see them anyway. I hope you learn a little something about kidney function and what life is like without. If nothing else, I hope you see what a remarkable son I have and all the trials he faces - with such sweet smiles and giggles. :) On to the show:

Daily Medicines




The meds on the counter basically help to control electolyte imbalances that your kidneys do naturally: sodium, iron, calcium, parathryoid levels, potassium and phosphorus. He has one or two meds for each of those electrolytes. The meds in the frig are for high blood pressure, kidneys also control that function in your body too. The jug next to the meds is his formula. We make a new 32 oz batch every night at 10pm; we add kayexlate and shake. The kayexlate binds the potassium and settles to the bottom. In the morning we pour off the formula, leaving the brown sludge you see pictured. Too much potassium can cause someone to go into cardiac failure. Matthew hoards pottasium! He's not allowed any. I have noticed muscle cramps and spasms because of this - we now had baby applesauce through his g-tube four days a week, both days of the weekend since he gets dialysis on Friday and Monday and then Tuesday and Thursday too. This keep his potassium level right around 4.7 - 5.1, perfect!

Here's what his formula is comprised of (I didn't take a pic of the kayexlate, but you saw the "final" product anwyay. :)


Here are the "special meds" he doesn't get these every day. Which is good - we have enough problems with the heparin he gets...stupid bloody noses!! And like I said before, no more procrit...we have "moved up" to stronger meds - Aranesp (a protein made from human plasma).



OK, so how do we get these meds into him you ask - his g-tube of course. LOVE the g-tube. No more iron stains, no more half doses due to spit up, and no more forcing a tiny baby down and making him swallow these VILE things! So, here's the package and the tube itself. You can see the two ports; the med port with the small medicine syringe and the feed port where I do his bolus and night time feeds. Also attaching what the temporary "replacment" looks like for after he pulls out his own g-tube - not that he EVER does that right...umph!





I think I've got a lot of pics up right now, so I'm going to just move on to dialysis...but know there are a LOT more. I have tegaderms (breathable bandages), swabs and catheters for cultures of urine, the feed pump (which I belive you can see him hooked up to that on his caringbride site, the 2nd page of pics...I really need to update those...) Also his therapy, but I don't have Crystal's permission to put her pic up here, I'll ask her next week if she would mind. :)

So why don't you travel 64 miles with me from our door to Egleston's door. We are across the street from Emory University Hospital smack in between the city of Decatur and Atlanta, though it is given an Atlanta address. We head down four stories into the parking deck, parking on the very bottom level so we don't have to fight for a spot or be followed by parking vultures (which just makes me go slower people!). Up into the elevator to another elevator further in the heart of the hospital. The butterfly elevators. :) Now up 6 floors to the transplant wing and greet our family. I will not be publishing pics that I have taken with nurses/dieticians/child life workers, because again I only had their permission for his transplant journey book that I am making - not my blog. These pictures were taken on his first birthday, thus why I have my camera at dialysis in the first place. :) Oh and the one pic of his hospital crib, if you look closely you can see his little arm hanging out...he was napping. :)






Again, these nowhere near show you the amount of crap he puts up with every day. It's a small glimpse into a BIG life he is going to live. And because of all the crap he puts up with daily - he IS going to live! I'm so proud of my little fighter. Matthew is my hero. :)

Surprises!

OK, the McBroom and Faust family (cause we are including the grandparents) are in the works of a big surprise for our one year post transplant. Now we don't have our transplant date or anything useful really at the moment...still waiting!!!! But we know it will be (God willing if urology ok's it) late summer, early fall tenatively September is what we are guestimating based on my other sources that have dealt with the same hospital. So we are planning a Christmas surprise. Santa's gonna drop a bomb next year people! :)
As for other much smaller surprises, I am working on my mother's birthday presents. We had family photos taken about month ago and I have been working on those to get them ready. Ordering 8x10's, 5x7's and various wallets along with picture frames. Here's a sneak peak:







Of course I am not showing the pictures she will receive...just some of the ones that were taken. I'll post the absolute cutest pic of the brothers when she gets hers. It just makes me smile.
Happy week to all!

Uncluttering my mind

Sorry...nothing "inspirational" here today...just clean the closets of my brain. Everyone once in awhile I need to spring clean in here before it gets so bad I can't remember which house is my house on my street.
No, no news on the transplant front. I was told by my transplant mentor that it took two weeks to get back to her about matches...the more people...the longer it takes. We had three, bunch of crap!
This weekend is yet another "Ian" weekend. Ian, my hubby is turning a year older on Saturday. He's draining our checking account. Two weekends ago, both my husband and Matthew were baptized together...and got presents. Last weekend was father's day, so naturally Ian got presents. And now his birthday... WE are getting presents! In the way of a date of dinner and a movie as my parents watch the kids for us. :) It's your birthday...happy birthday...we're having dinner...where we get to actually taste our food...and not have to pick up hotwheels from under the table...woo hoo!
Speaking of birthdays...I'm getting THAT feeling. When William turned one - I was ready for another baby. Didn't start trying until about 10 months later...but I knew I wanted one. I'm getting that itch again. I knew I wanted three kids. Ian and I had talked about it. Even though I still want one...I really don't think I'm going to "plan" on one. Now if God sees fit to give me another child, we will happily take one, but we won't be trying!
Why not? Am I scared of another high risk pregnancy filled with needles and procedures...absolutely not. I actually had a very unnatural calm through it all. I have a high pain threshold and new things were not in my hands...so what was to be all upset about. I would do it again in heartbeat!! Labs, needles, surgery...HA - I laugh at you! The real reason is that I don't think it would be fair to another little one. I have to spend so much time on Matthew and keeping him healthy. I know many moms have had special needs children and then followed with siblings, but I just don't know if I could do that. I think mommy guilt would get the best of me being pulled in so many directions. Sigh...guess we'll eventually get another dog huh.
My life is full and I am happy with my two awesome boys. Besides...I don't want to push my luck on getting a girl. God has been so accomodating with giving my boys. I'm not a girly girl - never was. I love football games, beating my best time on the road and rude crude body function jokes. I can't do pink and princesses and DATING and WEDDINGS!! And in the words of Jerry Seinfielf...not that there is anything wrong with that...that's just not me. ;)
I know this post is kind of all over, so I am going to wrap up with a picture of Ian and kids since I haven't posted pics in awhile.
Happy weekend and happy birthday to my love! Date night- woo hoo!!

Keeping count

It's Easter weekend. And much rejoicing will be done through out the world. Here's a snapshot from my world. Are you counting your blessings this Easter?







I hope everyone has a beautiful Easter with friends and family...and chocolate. :)

Fall photos

William and I took the opportunity to play in the back yard with Downey while Matthew was snoozing in his swing and I just happened to look around for the first time in a LONG time. My mind is finally coming back to me after weeks of stress and strain. I'm finally able to recognize beauty outside of my sons again. So I ran in (gave a quick peck on the cheek to a slumbering infant) and grabbed my camera. Just had to share a couple of pics of our backyard wearing a fabulous shade of autumn. :)

Looking up from our woods to the sky:



My favorite color for trees:



Happy Fall ya'll!

The nursery pt 1

Ian and I are in the midst of preparing our home for little Matthew's homecoming. I know what you are thinking...you've had plenty of time girl! But I was on bedrest for a good three months and wanted to be involved in the planning and decorating so we put things on hold. Then he got here and I have wanted to spend every free second I have had with him. :) Now with Ian at new teacher orientation and the other car in the shop for new tires...I have time to get things together a bit!

Matthew's nursery is nowhere near complete, but we have painted the walls and put the crib together. I'l be taking pictures of it by week's end to show everyone, but for now this will have to do: http://www.babysupermall.com/main/products/lai/lai16006v.html

This site as a picture of his bedding. Of course we didn't go hog wild and order everything you see! But enough to make it "pretty" if that is a word I can use for a boy's room!

I love cutesy nurseries! Never really been a fan of walking into a room and not knowing if it was a baby's room or a grandparent's...except with the obvious sight of the crib. They are only babies for a little while and everything will change when they become toddlers and you transform their rooms again.

William's is now all about vehicles: cars, trucks, planes and boats! On his bed, on his shelves and and toys scattered on the floor too! But when he was a baby (which I think he will always be in my eyes) he had a safari animals nursery (with touches of Noah's ark in there for good measure). Here are a few pics of his old room:

I can't wait to have another baby sleeping peacefully in his crib. Soon...just got to be patient. AAAHHH! I just remembered...I'm not very patient. ;) More to come...

Per request of Susie

Well...if you insist...I'll share more pictures of my little tiny hiney. (No not MINE - it's more jello-y and jiggly if you ask me) but the cute little one at Scottish Rite.

He's doing so well and should be coming home within the next two weeks!! We can't wait for our whole family to truly be together! Here's my little guys website if you are interested in hearing more about his fight: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/fightingmatthew There's a few pics there too.

Here are pictures from this past weekend when the brother's were able to finally meet face to face. :)

Photo Meme from Liz

Instructions:
Go to goggle/photobucket/any image source.
Type in your answer into the search box
Using the first image that clearly shows your answer, copy and paste the code below the questions.

1. First name?


2. Favorite color?


3. Celebrity crush? (ok, I don't really go for the celebrities, but I'm in love with Patrick Dempsey's hair. My hubby's used to be like that before he had to keep it in "regulation")


4. Band you are listening to right now? (actually no music is on...but here is what is)


5. Favorite movie? (one of many)


6. Favorite Disney princess? (I have one classic, one recent)



7. Favorite alcoholic beverage? (but only when tailgating on hot game days)


8. Drean vacation?


9. Favorite Dessert?


10. what you want to be when you grow up?