Super 17!!!

We're here!! We've made it! After 137 sessions of hemodialysis (not mentioning the 4 months of peritoneal dialysis) for a total of 361 hours, tomorrow we will be going for our LAST treatment. Only three more hours of my son plugged up to the dialyzier! I think I'm still in denial that this is happening!! I just can't wrap my mind around it.
After over thirteen months of going down to the hospital to receive life sustaining treatments, we will be going down to receive a life SAVING surgery and drive away with excellent kidney function! I mean I am happy if his creatinine is under 7.0! (my standards have gone WAY down!!!) I can't even imagine what it will be like if it is under 1.0 and NORMAL!! Oh Lord...he's going to have SO much energy. Maybe I should be a little more scared about this than I am...
But I just can't "be scared". I can only be excited. I'm all jumpy and jittery and just going everywhere at once. I'm surprised my skin has just come off from the sheer energy that is coarsing through my body at the this moment...but then I'd have to clean it up...and I really don't have time for that. ;) Is is weird that I'm not scared? Many of my friends and family ask that when they call or email. Are you scared. No, just really excited!
Yes, I am anxious...it is surgery and the longest one he's been in. His port placement, pd catheter extraction and g-tube placement only took 3.5 hours. To take out two old kidneys, add a new (slightly used) kidney and remove the hemo perma-cath will take approximately 6 hrs. EEEEK! I'm just anxious to hear the surgeon come out and say "it looks great and we've got liquid gold right at this moment!". I think I'll cry.
I've never cried at a surgery, before or after. Is THAT weird? I've always just gone on automatic pilot. Matthew needs these things done and they will be done so we can get to the BIG surgery. I've always had my eyes on the big surgery, but never really thought about the BIG day arriving. It feels like it is happening SO soon yet SO slow! I'm trying to savor these last 24 hours with both of my boys. (I miss William SO much when I'm at the hospital...and he doesn't take it too well either). But I'm also saying, come on, come on, come ON!!! :)
This is what I have been fighting for since I was told at 16 weeks gestation to give up, throw in the towel, you are young and can have another one soon. I could never replace Matthew (only his kidneys). I'm thrilled to shove it in everyone's face that ever doubted my boy! HA! We MADE IT!!! HE made it!! He kicked dialysis BUTT! :) (Ok, so not very mature, but eh...I don't care at the moment) :P
I'm NOT looking forward to the pain, the blood pressure issues, the diarrhea...ugh! But the fact that Matthew will be HERE. He will have the strength to walk! He will be able to learn how to take food by mouth! He will grow up to be a man that can overcome any obstacle, because this baby has been a fighter all along. I am so proud of him. :) So grateful for all he has given me. So thankful to my support team of friends and family that have gathered around us. And I can not form words to express my feelings for Marie.
Is your green clean? Wear it to honor Matthew, Marie and ALL the organ donors and recipients (present, past and future). New kidney on Thursday! New journey, new life. Second chances ROCK!!!