Sweetest Day

Today was the best visit to the NICU. Ian and I both got to hold Matthew, which we have done before a few times...but I was able to nurse Matthew for the first time. It just warmed my heart. I was giggling while my eyes were filling with happy tears. I was touched by his little hand resting on my bare chest and his little face nuzzled tightly into my skin. So sweet! He also surprised EVERYONE, me included, when he actually did nurse. They just expected him to "play around" and get use to the idea with out accomplishing anything...but that kid went to TOWN! Yowza! I am just so proud and happy. The doctor's even told us we will be starting out training at Egleston's Children's Hospital near Emory for outpatient dialysis. This means we are in the homestretch. They said they would send us to training when Matthew was a couple of weeks out from coming home! I need to get his nursery ready!!! AAAHHHH! I'm so excited! Paint samples, here I come! :)

Pity Party

Bad things happen...to everyone. What is "bad" for one, is a blessing for another. The word is getting around to some of my "aquaintences". Naturally, my friends have been in the loop with my high risk pregnancy, but I didn't feel the need to share all the details with everyone I have ever talked to before. Now they are springing up from the ground...I might not have even talked to them in years. It's nice to be thought of and I love the extra prayers for Matthew, but spare me the "poor baby, poor mommy" outlook.
Yes, I know...we have LOTS of challenges in the future and the future itself is very uncertain. The nephrologists has given us the statistics of Matthew even making it two years of age and they are not good. But I will NOT let this get me down. Nothing is "bad" to me. Bad would have been if the doctor's didn't do diddley and I never got the chance to even hold him. Bad would have been losing him before I even got a chance to know him. Bad would have been listening to Satan and aborting him when the doctor's told me to...that actually would have been evil.
I have so much to be thankful for and I'm aware of it daily. On every trip up to Scottish Rite I see so many children with terminal diseases like my son...but my son's is treatable...he just has to hold out long enough for the treatment. Many of these children's diseases are not. You pass their parents in the hall, the kids are being pulled in little red wagon's because this is the only way they are allowed outside of their room. Some are too weak to even sit up and look around, they are propped on pillows and bundled in blankets, with the other parent following the wagon with their monitor or IV stand. Daily we see families leaving with tears on their cheeks and red eyes. My husband and I leave hand in hand with a smile on our lips and a prayer of thanksgiving in our hearts because we had one more day spent with our son and he is doing SO well.
I don't know why this happened to our family and our son. Why God decided we should be the parents of such a special little boy, but I accept it with open arms. I am ready to learn why we were chosen. I am prepared to have my eyes opened to whatever has blinded me in the past. I am eager to start this journey with my family and loved ones. I am willing to give my son part of me so that he may live that much longer...though I will request a lot of pain killers after the surgery. ;)
So please, don't feel bad for us, we are truly blessed in our little family. Matthew is strong and so are we...we have God on our side. Only have tears of happiness that he is doing well, only have words of praise that God has given us such a special son, and only offer words of support and thanksgiving. The only thing in all of this that hurts is the doubt and gloomy thoughts of others. Please be happy for us, we are thrilled with our new arrival!

Butt soap?

Well, that got your attention didn't it? hee hee :) With our nearly daily drives down to Scottish Rite hospital to visit our new son...my hubby and I have been having some entertaining conversations (especially if there is road work and we need to pass the time) Our conversation yesterday involved cleanliness. We are about to become "germ-nazis" when our little one is able to come home. With his kidney failure, he is less able to fight infection and with his dialysis, germs have a direct entry route into his body. So we were talking about shower habits and such.
Do you use a wash cloth, your hands or just the soap itself to clean yourself? My husband uses all three. Wash cloth for his face, hands for his body and soap for the uh...nether regions. So, if he gets in the shower before me...am I washing with "butt soap"? EEEWWW! I know germs won't live on the soap, but I don't necessarily want leftover "residue" that toliet paper didn't quite reach on my soap either!! I think when I leave for my visit with Matthew today, I'm stopping by Walmart for some body wash. ;)

One week ago...

I became a mom for the second time! I received my little 4 lb gift 8 and a half weeks early, but one look at that tiny face makes all the hardships to come worth it! I'm slowly recovering from my emergency c-section, but keep over doing it in favor of visiting with my little miracle that is an hour away in an isolette at Scottish Rite children's hospital in Atlanta. Been very sore and busy this past week. And I'm off to pump some good stuff for my baby boy, Matthew Ian. Can't post too much for now, but I'll be back as soon as possible.
Here's a link to his birth story from a baby site I journal on for him to read one day: http://www.babycrowd.com/jr/online/krfm2003/

Please keep my precious bundle of joy in your prayers. We have a long road ahead of us, but have come a long way already.

Random musings

Atlanta Braves fans are rallying behind their favorite pitcher John Smoltz...how is he not retired yet?? Anyway, he's having his third shoulder surgery in 8 years. He is planning on making a comeback for next year though.
Hot-lanta is living up to her name! It's going to be in the mid-90's all week. Kind of makes me glad to be on bedrest! William has been forced to play outside in the mornings only because daddy can't take the heat of the afternoon. :) This is the same guy that endured boarding team school in Charleston SC in July for 10 days wearing full body armor.
I'm trying to prepare William that he will not be "the baby" for much longer...but it's hard. I do refer to him as a good boy and a big boy, but sometimes the "baby" term of endearment just slips. Then he refers to himself as the baby after that. "Where's baby's cup?" I need to get better about this!
Downey girl is sulking beside me on the floor. Ian vacuumed the couches today as he does once a week. (another benefit of bedrest for me) ;) This means Downey is not allowed on the furniture...at least until tonight when we go to bed and she jumps up on it anyway. But we like at least one day of no hair!
I just found a new favorite donut. Publix bakery! I do love their cakes and cookies, but have never in all my years of being near one tried their donuts. Man was I missing a good thing! Another note on Publix, I just joined the Publix Baby Club. I didn't get to join when I had William because we weren't anywhere near one in Wilmington. They sent an entire booklet of coupons (all buy one, get one free) and a 500 page book from the American Academy of Pediatrics...going from pregnancy through 5 years of age. It talks about milestones, common concerns (illness, development and answering "tricky" questions) along with first aid and nutrious recipes. Wow...and all of that for free!
I love the smell of Vick's Vapor rub...I don't know why...I just do! I don't know why I wrote that either...I just did!
I read for fun and to learn every night before bed. My fun books exercise my imagination and my informative books exercise my intelligence.
I am downing in between 80 - 100 ounces of fluid every day. (that's in between 10 and 12 glasses of water each day). So I have fluid going in me from every direction pretty much!
I'm getting a case of the munchies...gotta go! Happy day to you!

Just for you Randi! :)

Here's one of the very few pictures I have of Ian with hair on the computer already. We got a digital camera right before we got married and put it to use on our honeymoon at Disney World. ($10 bucks if you can name this restaurant! - hint- it's in the resort we stayed at) Anyway, he had his hair cut right before the wedding so it's not all curly and long here. I'll look through some actual photos from college and see what I can come up with.
Good night!
OH, and thanks for reviewing the photobook! :) Love ya!

Photo Meme from Liz

Instructions:
Go to goggle/photobucket/any image source.
Type in your answer into the search box
Using the first image that clearly shows your answer, copy and paste the code below the questions.

1. First name?


2. Favorite color?


3. Celebrity crush? (ok, I don't really go for the celebrities, but I'm in love with Patrick Dempsey's hair. My hubby's used to be like that before he had to keep it in "regulation")


4. Band you are listening to right now? (actually no music is on...but here is what is)


5. Favorite movie? (one of many)


6. Favorite Disney princess? (I have one classic, one recent)



7. Favorite alcoholic beverage? (but only when tailgating on hot game days)


8. Drean vacation?


9. Favorite Dessert?


10. what you want to be when you grow up?

Snapshot Sunday

For today snapshot, I was planning on using the incredible 3D image we received of our little son Matthew on Friday. We had to have two infusion in less than 48 hours this week due to complications during the infusion process on Wednesday...which I'm still bruised from. :( But for our efforts (and for getting up at 4:30am to beat Atlanta rush hour) we were given permission to get a 3D sneak peak at our little stinker. He looks NOTHING like his older brother, but is still just as gorgeous. Maybe I'll post it after he is born as a comparrison between in utero and out!
But yesterday we had an exciting day. I was having contractions through out the day like I usually do after repeated procedures like those...no biggee. But then I started to feel crampy and nauseous. I went to the bathroom and there was blood. Not bright red and in copious amounts thank the Lord...I would have been hysterical! But I had passed my muscus plug. (I know...TMI!!!) When I did that with William, my water broke just a minute after and an hour after contractions were coming every 3 minutes. So, needless to say, I kind of over-reacted and FREAKED! We called both our high risk doctors and our normal OB. They both told us to come in for monitoring just to check if I was dialating. So, I get on the phone and call the family brigade out to watch William. Ian's dad, who is just five minutes down the road, and my mother. Ian's dad to stay with William if I'm admitted, my mother to be with me incase they say "it's time". I have already requested to have both hubby and my momma in the OR room.
When get there and get all hooked up. Little Matthew is doing wonderful. I'm having definite contractions, but they aren't in any pattern and after a quick check (ouch!) they see I have not dialated any...but have begun to efface.
They send me home with explicit instructions of do NOTHING, but drink lots, rest lots and urinate lots! If I have more than 5 contractions (with or without a pattern) in an hour come in immediately. So we are home, crossing fingers (and legs) that we haven't done too much too soon with those procedures back to back. I go see my OB on Monday to be checked again (looking forward to that...sarcasm dripping off the keyboard!) and then in for an ultrasound, tap and infusion on Tuesday with my perinatologists. If they think it is too risky, I'll just be admitted and monitored for no fluid and cord compression.
So with all of this going on, I just wanted to bring out some awareness of preterm labor and premature babies. Things have come such a long way and it's not the death sentence it used to be, but these little babies need more love and support than full term babies. Please say a prayer for all the families and babies going through this roller coaster ride. Thanks!