Sunday, June 29, 2008

Pity Party

Bad things everyone. What is "bad" for one, is a blessing for another. The word is getting around to some of my "aquaintences". Naturally, my friends have been in the loop with my high risk pregnancy, but I didn't feel the need to share all the details with everyone I have ever talked to before. Now they are springing up from the ground...I might not have even talked to them in years. It's nice to be thought of and I love the extra prayers for Matthew, but spare me the "poor baby, poor mommy" outlook.
Yes, I know...we have LOTS of challenges in the future and the future itself is very uncertain. The nephrologists has given us the statistics of Matthew even making it two years of age and they are not good. But I will NOT let this get me down. Nothing is "bad" to me. Bad would have been if the doctor's didn't do diddley and I never got the chance to even hold him. Bad would have been losing him before I even got a chance to know him. Bad would have been listening to Satan and aborting him when the doctor's told me to...that actually would have been evil.
I have so much to be thankful for and I'm aware of it daily. On every trip up to Scottish Rite I see so many children with terminal diseases like my son...but my son's is treatable...he just has to hold out long enough for the treatment. Many of these children's diseases are not. You pass their parents in the hall, the kids are being pulled in little red wagon's because this is the only way they are allowed outside of their room. Some are too weak to even sit up and look around, they are propped on pillows and bundled in blankets, with the other parent following the wagon with their monitor or IV stand. Daily we see families leaving with tears on their cheeks and red eyes. My husband and I leave hand in hand with a smile on our lips and a prayer of thanksgiving in our hearts because we had one more day spent with our son and he is doing SO well.
I don't know why this happened to our family and our son. Why God decided we should be the parents of such a special little boy, but I accept it with open arms. I am ready to learn why we were chosen. I am prepared to have my eyes opened to whatever has blinded me in the past. I am eager to start this journey with my family and loved ones. I am willing to give my son part of me so that he may live that much longer...though I will request a lot of pain killers after the surgery. ;)
So please, don't feel bad for us, we are truly blessed in our little family. Matthew is strong and so are we...we have God on our side. Only have tears of happiness that he is doing well, only have words of praise that God has given us such a special son, and only offer words of support and thanksgiving. The only thing in all of this that hurts is the doubt and gloomy thoughts of others. Please be happy for us, we are thrilled with our new arrival!

Matthew one week

mommy and son


Randi Jo :) said...

stay strong Karen - and don't listen to "the world"...just keep your focus on God and your family like you are doing. I am sure He will reveal to you everything you are supposed to take from this journey - I believe that one of the reasons you all are going through this is because all of the spiritual/personal growth you have experienced through this already. I believe a 2nd reason you are being challenged is because you are exactly right - there are families around there with sick babies who might be feeling hopeless, unfaithful, miserable, negative, and absolutely broken --- and you can have such a great influence on them. Be the example - spread your love and show your faith and ability to conquer each day as it comes - you will be such an encouragement to others. BUT those are just 2 of the many reasons for all the things GOd is doing - they may be true or not - taht's between you and God.

By the way - I'm sure people mean well but just don't know what to say. Negative news and gossip always spread faster than positive--- and people love to talk about the negative rather than focus on the positive. That's just the way of the world - don't let it get you down.

For some reason, the world is attracted to challenges --- so just let people's words to you just roll off your back like water off a duck's back. Don't let it affect you or get into your heart or mind at all. Envelope yourself with God's word and words of loved ones only.

There is no pity party here. God is good and He loves you. Jeremiah 29:11

I love you all!

Susie said...

He is absolutely gorgeous, Karen!! And you are so right to focus on one day at a time. God is in control and He knows the future...not us!! You're in our prayers, but we join you in thanksgiving for this truly blessed little blessing!! :o)

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