Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Pick me, pick me!
No, I'm not entering a spelling bee contest (I'd loose miserably!), I'm getting the paperwork in to be my son's donor. Unfortunately grandma's glucose levels were just too high...even with the cheating. Yes, we were trying to cheat. :P It just wasn't meant to be. But honestly, all along since we were told Matthew would need a transplant to save his life back when he was three days old...I knew somewhere deep inside that it would be me. Hoped it would be me. I really want to help my boy out!
Now that the time has come for me to start the tests and procedures, I'm both anxious and excited. I can't wait to get things started! I've been waiting for 14 months after all! I don't fear pain, needles, stitches, procedures or tests. I just want my baby to feel good for the first time ever!
Yet with all of this bouncing on the couch (think Tom Cruise) over here...I think I am remaining guarded and cautious now. My mother is in perfect health, yet she's been passed over. My own health...eh... I have migraines, IBS, severe PMS and arthritis in my wrists. I've had kidney stones in my past and monster of a kidney infection before. I'm nervous my kidneys aren't good enough. Well, one is...but I'm scared the one that would be left in me isn't. I'm not afraid of kidney failure or dialysis for myself. It wouldn't be fun, but if a baby can do it...come on right! ;) Though babies are exceedingly less whiny than adults; I've seen this first hand! My biggest fear is to go through everything, only to show up at an ultrasound to see I have a surprise in my kidney - a stone. Now I haven't had one in 9 years! I've become more aware of my diet and my water intake. But my dad has had about 26 kidney stones total, my brother is on...number 5 o 6? My dad's grandmother died due to complications of not passing a stone. Odds aren't in my favor...
But it doesn't matter. I'm going to try. I'm going to do everything I can to help my baby feel better for the first time. My donor packet is on it's way today to Emory. I am praying for a speedy process. Luckily if I am the donor, they will fit surgery to my wishes...my wishes are for this to have been over with yesterday! So, it is full steam ahead...you up for a ride with me? Hang on...it might get bumpy!